Eyes Wide Open
by xXTheDragonRiderXx
Summary: The weight of destiny has never been this heavy for Merlin. Until now. Destiny has been turned on her heel, starting with Morgana and the Book of Magic. Arthur's eyes are opening, fate is closing in, a new enemy has begun to rise, and nothing is what it seems, especially when the Triple Goddess comes into play… and that is the least of his worries. 2nd in Dawn of Albion. MoreInside
1. A Noble Heritage

_Discussion of Christian beliefs/Christianity ascribed to specific characters._

**Title:** Eyes Wide Open  
**Category: **Het (Canon AU)  
**Characters:** Merlin/Freya, Arthur/Guinevere, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Morgana, Gwaine, The Triple Goddess  
**Ratings/Warnings: **T/Discussion of Christian beliefs, Christianity ascribed to specific characters. AU. No Slash. Alter-Ego!Morgana. Possibility of OOC-ness. Whump. BAMF... so far. :3 Oh, and insanity!  
**Summary: **The weight of destiny has never been this heavy for Merlin. Until now. Destiny has been turned on her heel, starting with Morgana and the Book of Magic. Arthur's eyes are opening, fate is closing in, a new enemy has begun to rise, and nothing is what it seems, especially when the Triple Goddess comes into play… and, quite frankly, that is the least of his worries.

**_Chapter One: _**_A Noble Heritage_

_Fire._

A form that has no true substance but is capable of influencing everything within its reach. With its nearly supernatural energy, it is unstoppable once it begins its blazing. Such passion, such willpower, is rarely found and highly prized, but in the wrong hands, it will bring about nothing but tragedy.

_Air._

Active and forceful, its invisible energy can overpower many with little effort. Despite this, it is, above all, pure: simply a sense of motivation to drive the worthy forward. It is intelligent, helpful, and kind, but in the wrong hands, it will bring about nothing but tragedy.

_Water._

That which is integral to life can also be the end of everything. It is unstable and irrational; it changes without warning with devastating consequences. Despite these terrible things…when it chooses to be, it can be nurturing, sensitive, and intuitive. Whichever way this volatile—and vital—being is looked upon, in the wrong hands, it will bring about nothing but tragedy.

_Earth._

By far the stablest of all the components of the universe, it represents rigidity and permanence. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone does, it will simply continue to exist. Such constancy is to be commended, certainly, but along with such a thing comes great power. In the wrong hands, it will bring about nothing but tragedy.

One is all, two are two, one is air, one is fire, one is earth and one is water. What will happen when they collide? Will they make peace, and become the Lords and Ladies of Magic? Or will they become enemies?

Who are they?

* * *

Arthur Pendragon glared daggers at the book he was looking into. In the library. He could be doing so much more important stuff, like training with his knights, giving Merlin chores, reading about the History of 'Albion' (as he started calling it in his head), learning about magic, reading druid prophecies (they were interesting! Even if some of them were in the Old Religion or Latin, neither of which he was good at), or playing with his daughter (Elizabeth was adorable, especially when she smiled), but _no,_ he was stuck here, learning more about the nobles, his _father's _nobles.

Why couldn't Merlin do this?

Oh right, he was busy teaching Kay about how to write. Arthur smiled, knowing that he was drifting out but not caring about it. He had been surprised when Gaius had offered _Merlin _of all people to teach his squire the basics of math, science, history and English, at least.

_"Isn't he a peasant himself?" _

_Gaius looked at him drily. "Yes, but he was taught well. He's an excellent scholar." _

_"You would know that, wouldn't you Gaius?" Arthur replied, a tad sarcastically. Gaius shot him a reproachful look as he pulled out various tomes. _

_"Better then you where at any rate." _

_"Still, _Mer_lin? He's an absolute idiot." _

Arthur smiled fondly as he remembered Merlin's rather nasty glare when Gaius had told them their conversation. The warlock (Harry had confirmed it) who still walks with a limp, back then even more so, had rattled off so much Latin _("Fortuna bonae! Ambulo! Laboro, Arthur, I work.")_, along with math and long complicated words that had made Arthur feel rather befuddled. He agreed to let Merlin teach Kay and the warlock really _had _looked to smug about it, although Arthur really couldn't blame him… much.

_A lot has changed in a year, hasn't it, Arthur? _

_Oh, shut up. _

Arthur pinched his nose, again, and looked back down at the tome that had _many _lines connecting names. "You just _love _to make my life difficult, don't you? I could be with Elizabeth, or Guinevere, or even Merlin, if he's not tutoring Kay."

Another thing had happened in that year, other than Elizabeth being born and Kay becoming Arthur's –and Merlin's- squire (Merlin joked that he was both of their apprentice one day, Arthur agreed with that, much to even his own surprise). Merlin's serving duties had become considerably less, him becoming more of an apprentice to Gaius and a tutor to Kay and some of the younger children. Arthur was rather pleased with that new development; he could talk to Merlin as an equal more so then ever before.

In other words, Merlin had become a scholar and the Court Physician's Apprentice, although it wasn't official, _yet_. None of the younger nobles had dared to try to persuade Arthur from that fact.

In the last three months Arthur had begun to breach the possibility of magic not being evil (to Ron's delight, although Harry couldn't _stand _the council) and surprisingly it wasn't the older generation that protested that fact, but the younger.

Well, except for Ron, Freya and Hermione of course. Arthur had promoted them (along with Harry and Ginny) to nobility although neither Harry nor Ginny could stand the council. Not that Arthur minded, in fact he kind of suspected that before. Both were too impatient (and spirited) to even _sit_ still for five minutes, let alone listen to the noble's BS.

And so, that was how Harry and Ginny both became knights.

Many of the nobles had protested the idea of Ginny being a knight until she came in with her red hair flowing behind her and sparks flying off of her, literally. That had put an end to their protests.

Merlin had once stated to Arthur that Morgana had been "surprisingly quiet in the last year". That was about six months ago, two or three weeks after Elizabeth had been born. The warlock had been folding clothes at the time and was watching the baby gurgle happily at her father (who had been playing with his fingers) with a smile on his face.

"Arthur?" A strong voice asked and Arthur looked up in surprise before he smiled slightly.

"Did you finish your lessons?" Arthur raised an eyebrow as he nodded frantically. "You sure?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Okay… maybe Merlin didn't dismiss me but its _history, _Wart, history!"

Arthur rubbed his temples and put his elbows on the table, ignoring the disapproving glare that Geoffrey shot him. "How many times I've got to tell you this, Kay, _do not call me that_. I don't care if you're turning thirteen soon." Kay crossed his arms and sat in the chair across from him. Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're going to be the death of me," he complained. Kay grinned, instantly uncrossing his arms, knowing that he had won over the king (whose iron will seemed to be not as strong anymore, when confronted with Merlin or Kay. He knew Elizabeth would be next).

Arthur suddenly stood up and began to look at the book titles, before lifting his hand up and pulling one out. Kay tilted his head in confusion as Arthur walked over and placed the book on the table. Kay looked at the king then down at the book, his eyes clouding with confusion as he reached out and opened it.

"What is it?" He asked tilting his head curiously.

"Something that I read a lot when I was younger and Merlin caught me reading multiple times after I met him." He smiled fondly, remembering his friend. "In fact, he was actually the one who got me back into reading it." Arthur chuckled, he had caught Merlin in the library once reading the book, but it wasn't that that caught his attention, it was his expression that was surprisingly full of hope, and maybe a bit of peace, although he wasn't sure. "I wish I never stopped…" Kay frowned and Arthur chuckled. "Read the cover."

Kay bit his lip before looking down at the red bound cover and his eyes widened as he read the golden words. "My father had one of these!" He exclaimed. "It's a Bible!"

"So, you're remembering stuff?" Arthur asked, although it was more of a statement as he tilted his head curiously, watching as Kay's awed eyes took in the red cover and golden letters.

Kay frowned slightly. "Maybe," he admitted, running his hand over the spine. "But it's frustrating… at times it seems like my memory is coming back fully but then everything just slips, like water running through your hands."

_Wisdom, indeed Arthur. _

_Why do I have to stick with you again? _

"I guess I'm glad I haven't lost my memory." Arthur said with a smile and Kay returned it.

"You don't strike me as a Christian, sire. No offense." Kay said tilting his head but there was a faint smile on his lips.

Arthur chuckled and stretched. "I'm not exactly sure if I am or am not, Kay. I know Lancelot is though, and Merlin."

Kay tilted his head, confusion seeping into his eyes. "Merlin? I understand Lancelot, but isn't Merlin a… well, you know?"

Arthur paused and frowned deeply, that had been something that he had wondered for a while. "Christians have been persecuted a lot, apparently their lord was crucified. But, their God is a much more… merciful one. I think Merlin believes in Christianity because it gives him hope, and the Old Religion hasn't been very kind to him either."

_I agree with you on that, the Triple Goddess is _nasty_. I think she might have influenced some of those Jews… _

_Aren't you her, technically? And not all Jews are bad, are they? _

_Nope. I'm not her, I'm much more ancient. And no, not all of them are. They're just misunderstood. Greatly. _

Kay tilted his head, his eyes becoming thoughtful and Arthur smiled warmly. "…maybe I could go talk to one of them?" Kay asked, slightly hesitant but his gaze serious.

Arthur nodded his smile widening as he opened a page on the Bible. Kay looked at it curiously. "Yes," he nodded. "But, do Merlin first, Lancelot will just ramble on about it and you'll never get what he's saying. Merlin's gentler in that respect surprisingly."

Kay's eyebrows shot up. "Lancelot? Why does this say...? Genesis?" He added, looking at the Bible.

"It's a book," Arthur explained. "And yes, Lancelot." He rolled his eyes.

Kay smiled then began to read it out loud. "_In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness _was _upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw that the light was good…" _Kay's voice began to fade in and out of Arthur's ears as the young king sat back and relaxed, letting his voice drift, soothing him and a small smile stretched across his face. He really was getting better at reading.

_I should go to Merlin sometime and learn more… I already know the scripture but how do you believe in something that you can't see? _

"_…Lord said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark…_" Kay's voice suddenly brought Arthur back into reality and the king jumped up.

"That's it!" He shouted in realization. Kay blinked owlishly at Arthur and tilted his head. Geoffrey appeared and glared at the king who smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"What's it?"

"Kay, what was your father's name?" Arthur asked, looking at him urgently and he grabbed the book of nobles.

"My father…? Ector, I think. Or it might have been Hector…"

Arthur paled drastically and he began to flip through the pages. "No… not that… E… house of…" Suddenly he stopped and stared. "Right. Found him. Ectorius Ector… was that-Kay? Are you alright?"

Kay had paled drastically. His blue eyes were wide and the freckles sprinkled across his face were very visible. "That's…"

Arthur gulped. "So, that's him?" Kay merely nodded and Arthur interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them. "I… he was… I was his squire." Arthur whispered.

Kay blinked. "What?" he asked. "You mean… you knew my father, he squired you and now you're squiring me?"

Arthur smiled wryly. "Looks that way."

Arthur watched as Kay's fists clenched his expression, not exactly angry, but confused and bewildered and maybe a bit betrayed, although, Arthur noted in mild surprise, there was a bit of hope in his eyes. "I… I need to think about this." Kay whispered, almost brokenly.

Arthur smiled sympathetically; he had been in the same position almost a year before, with Merlin. "Take all the time that you need." Suddenly a loud gong chimed and Arthur looked up in surprise. _One, two, three …_ "We better get ready for the banquet," he added and Kay smiled tensely at him in relief. "It's Samhain's Eve after all." He added cheerfully and Kay smiled, not as tensely but more genuinely.

"Remember Ron's face when Hermione told him that it's…" he frowned slightly, trying to figure out the word. "Hall-of-wee?" He tilted his head and Arthur chuckled and ruffled his hair slightly.

"Come on, and tell Merlin that he can have some of the food this time." Arthur smiled as Kay stood up, his expression becoming hard with resolution.

"Of course, Wart."

The moment passed when Arthur rolled his eyes.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Eight summaries people. Eight summaries. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS TO CHOOSE?! I SPENT MOST OF YESTERDAY TRYING TO! Enjoy! =)


	2. The Samhain's Eve Ball

**_Chapter Two:_**_ the Sahaim's Eve Ball_

Merlin was looking forward to the ball greatly this evening, even if he had a lot of bad memories associated with the actual holiday.

But that might be due to the fact that he was allowed to dance with Freya. And his leg had healed up a lot in the past year, so that he could almost walk without limping. His eye was still blind, obviously, but that had stopped bothering Merlin ages ago… mostly. There were times that he longed to be able to see out of it, but then he remembered why he didn't choose to be able to.

Kay was glaring at the Math book though. And Merlin was quite surprised that his story blue-grey eyes were not burning holes into the book. "Kay," he said in amusement. "How about you just finish it? Then you can get ready for the ball."

Kay scowled, crossing his arms. "Why do people even like to dress up and dance? It's so _boring_." He moaned and then his face collided with the book. Merlin bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling as he placed the books back onto their proper shelves.

"There's a feast…" He said, smiling as Kay's head shot up and he stared at Merlin in renewed interest. "Full of turkeys…" he added and Kay's mouth opened in awe. "Very… plump turkeys."

Merlin knew that he had won once Kay's face became dreamy. Gaius raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, grinning at the physician.

"I remember you moaning about science when you were younger." Gaius pointed out mildly. Kay gaped at Merlin who just shrugged with an easy grin.

"But I like it now."

~…~

Several hours later, Merlin tapped Freya on the shoulder and offered a hand. The enchantress looked up and smiled at him warmly before she stood, taking the hand, and both of them walked out onto the floor.

Freya put her hand on his shoulder and placed his gently on her waist. She held up her hand and he smiled before taking it in his own. Both of their feet started moving at the same time.

"You know," she said with a tiny smile, "you're actually a very good dancer, Merlin." She looked at him thoughtfully and Merlin chuckled. "Who would have thought?"

"My mother taught me how to." Merlin said blushing slightly. Freya chuckled slightly and he spun her out then back in. "By the way, you still look like a princess." And she did, with her hair pulled out of her face and falling down elegantly behind her back and the red dress with gold toward the top and around the trim. She blushed slightly and twirled in, her skirt billowing out.

"Where did you get the red jacket? You look very dashing in it."

"Arthur gave it to me." Merlin said smiling slightly. "Surprisingly it fits better then my brown one, now." He added thoughtfully. Then he paused and an expression of horror went onto his face. "Oh, no!"

Freya chuckled. "Don't worry, Merlin. I knew that your muscles are definitely not from training. It's probably from picking up baskets of laundry." He blushed and she chuckled. "It could also be from picking up Elizabeth, she's a heavy girl." Both of them turned to look at the princess, who Arthur was throwing in the air before he caught her. Merlin smiled slightly.

"She's a spoiled girl."

Freya chuckled, not taking her eyes off the baby. "By both you and Arthur… you'll be a wonderful father." There was a hint of longing in her tone, and Merlin looked at her in concern.

"Are you alright?"

Freya looked at him, blinking as if she had just woken up. "Huh? Oh yes, I'm fine." She smiled at him gently. "Just thinking about the future, I suppose." Merlin smiled slightly. He had barely dared to allow himself to think of it, everything was just _perfect_ as it was right now, and he was still afraid that it was going to be taken.

Harry and Ginny waltzed past, both of them laughing as they kept stepping on the other's toes. Merlin chuckled. "I've been afraid," he admitted. "I feel that if I admit that everything is going _right _for once, it'll just be destroyed."

Freya looked at him in concern. "I wish you didn't have to live like tha-" Suddenly the great oak door flared green and blew off of its hinges. Merlin pulled her down instantly, covering her with his body and his magic flared. Golden lights raced out and surrounded them, along with several other streaks. Through the dust Merlin saw red, blue, green, orange and brown flashes, obviously magical. He coughed and slammed his hand against the ground, his eyesight giving out entirely in his left eye. He felt desperation rise in him and he called out to Magic.

_Magic! A little help!_

_I'm helping the others! You can handle it yourself! _

Merlin cursed under his breath and took a deep breath. "_See_." He breathed. Images passed his mind, Morgana, galloping toward the castle, her eyes narrowed with concentration as the wind whistled behind her ears. Morgana dismounting her horse and marching to the door as she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes hard with determination in her ragged black dress. She raised her hand and jerked her head, green light shooting out it and surrounding the door. The door itself being blow off of its axles, creating a loud explosion and rubble went flying everywhere. Then she smirked and strutted in, and looked around, her eyes glowing gold in the dust before she began to march away from the banquet hall and down a corridor. The images sped up and blurred together, before slowing down at a place that was clearly recognizable as the vaults. And then there was a book, bound by some sort of lock with ancient lettering.

Merlin opened his eyes with a snap and spluttered. Freya looked at him in concern. "What's she after?" She asked.

"The book!" He said, and then hit himself with his fist. "I'm an idiot! She's been quiet too long, she was waiting for now to strike!" He paused at her confused expression. "She's after the Book of Life, Freya." Freya's eyes widened.

_Go now, Merlin, I'll tell the others. _

Merlin nodded grimly and stood, offering a hand to Freya. Freya's eyes hardened and she took it, and then both of them ran.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **I need a beta... hmmm... *Laughs* I'll go get my friend to look over it. Oh, this book is gonna be so much fun. :) But the ones after this...? *Evil grin* x-)


	3. The Book of Life

**_Chapter Three: _**_The Book of Life_

Merlin stumbled and his left leg seared in pain. He groaned and clasped his hand on it, instantly realizing that it was his right leg, his bad leg. "Merlin!" Freya cried out, and knelt by him. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, tightening his grip on the upper part of his leg, his thigh.

"M'fine," he groaned.

"_Fine_?! Merlin, you're…!" She shook her head and placed her hand on top of his and whispered something. Her eyes turned a dull bronze and his pain disappeared. Merlin looked at her in surprise, and she sighed. "It'll be back later, and probably worse." She murmured softly, looking guilty. Merlin smiled tiredly at her and held his hand out. Blue flashes of light started in it before becoming longer, a staff formed in it, starting in his palm and lengthened. Freya looked at it in awe and he stood up rather shakily.

"I didn't think it would work." He breathed, Freya laughed.

"It looks like your powers are growing." She murmured in slight awe, rubbing the back of her head. "Arthur's right about one thing though, you are an idiot. Saying you're fine like that when you're clearly _not_."

_She's got a point. _

Merlin frowned and she rolled her eyes. "…I was trying to save you from unneeded worry."

"_Merlin!_"

Merlin threw his free hand up, laughing slightly despite the danger. Freya glared at him. "Okay, Okay, I won't do that again." He surrendered. Freya rolled her eyes and grabbed the hand and began to drag him to the vaults.

"_Idiota." _she slipped into the Latin tongue, and Merlin, once again, wondered where she was from. "We've got to stop Morgana before she takes it, who knows what is in that book. There's a reason why it's also called the _Book of Magic _as well. Magic _is _life; it's the sea, the sky, the earth, the _Earth_. We are from dust and ashes, so it's a part of us. Even people who don't have magic can feel, or see, it sometimes!" Merlin stared at her as well as one could while they ran. Her hair had fallen out of it's berate and was now tumbling freely behind her. She waved her freehand wildly around and they turned sharply to their left, Merlin's bad leg protesting mildly. He winced slightly and leaned on the staff more.

"Yes, I know that Frey-" He paused and looked around and noticed the other figure. "Harry! You're going the wrong way!" The other warlock spun around, his eyes widening before he grinned.

"It's not _my _fault!" He said and walked over to Merlin. _Magic? _Merlin mumbled in his thoughts, the other being didn't answer, although he detected a… sheepish feeling.

"I'll talk to… it later. C'mon, we gotta stop Morgana!" He commanded and grabbed Freya's hand. The three magic users took off, Merlin taking the lead this time.

~…~

_Fire, consuming in him in a golden red halo. _

_Water, erupting out of the ground and drenching everything in its way. _

_Air, gently rustling through his hair, laughing soothingly at him. _

_Earth, the most stable of them all, land that stayed firm while the other four elements changed rapidly, and forcefully. _

_Seven different colors of light, gold, yellow, green, red, blue, orange and brown, flashing through his vision and surrounding seven figures… _

~…~

Laughter, it was the first thing that Harry heard when they entered the vaults. For a moment his mind flashed back to when he was still living in modern day England, where he went to a magic school called Hogwarts, and there was an evil wizard called Lord Voldemort. A pang of longing hit him but he shook his head, determinedly pushing it away. It was very doubtful that he would be able to get back into the future, where he was born, anyways, and besides, he loved being a knight.

"Is that Morgana?" Harry whispered to his companion, Merlin. The warlock nodded, his eyebrows forming a thoughtful unibrow. Freya looked at him then ducked as a sickly green light zipped right past her ear and hit the wall, dissolving it. Merlin let out a tiny yelp, his eyes crossing as he realized how close it came to hitting both of them. Harry grimaced.

"I don't think she knows that I have magic… which is a miracle by itself, what with how much I have used it around her." Merlin said, rubbing the back of his head. Harry nodded and felt, rather than saw Ginny, Ron and Hermione run in.

"Is that Morgana?" Hermione asked, unconsciously repeating Harry's earlier question. Merlin smirked and nodded, then ducked as a flash of light sailed just over his head.

_Come, come to me, magistras… __**(Latin) **_

Harry looked toward his right, his hand unconsciously moving up as he began to walk in a trancelike state, his mind suddenly going blank. Images flashed through his mind.

_An old man hunched over his table, his left hand gripping the pen as he wrote on the parchment. Several figures in cloaks murmuring in low tones, chanting something unintelligible, a flash of light and cries of pain. A red bound book, tome really, with golden letters and a design that was ever changing. Slaughter, and men falling, along with kingdoms, the pages of the book opening, and a lock being enchanted onto it by dragons, the book being buried, a man digging it up, the man trying to open the lock but it refused to budge, the book being placed in the vaults by Uther himself and then… nothing. _

Harry gasped and his eyes opened, unconsciously flaring into a deep golden color, to his right he saw a woman who must have been Morgana, what with her wild and unkempt hair. He watched as the witch stumble to the ground, her dark green, almost black, eyes widening to what should have been an impossible size, her mouth opened and he heard her screech "_No_!" Her hands flew up, to cup her ears, and he heard the sound of something breaking. "No! I won't accept this!" She shouted, her eyes looking up at the heavens. "Please…" she whispered, her voice echoing and there were tears in her eyes, "I can't… I can't do this!" She slammed her fist on the ground, visibly shaking.

The latch on the book opened, unlocking, with several different colors (blue, green, brown, gold, yellow, red and orange) surrounding it in the druid symbol, before it faded into the book. Merlin stepped forward, his hand reaching out and his eyes blazed into a deep molten gold. Harry felt himself move forward, a ball of light like the blue ones Merlin would make, forming in his hand, but this one was red. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ginny repeat his movements, except her ball was orange. Ron, Hermione and Freya did the same as well, except Ron's ball was blue, Hermione's was brown and Freya's was yellow.

Merlin stared at the book then whispered, "_Open, my old friend, you are no longer alone. We have come at long last, and we claim you._ **_(Old English)_**_"_ The lock began to twist, but then stopped, as if struggling. Suddenly, the balls became streaks and connected the magic users to the book, except there was one missing. The green one.

Morgana stared at it, her face tearstained and her eyes confused. "I…" she whispered, "I… why me…?" She looked at her hands then looked up, her eyes so vulnerable, and then her palms opened. A small green ball, not the sickly green but a pure dark emerald or even sage, green appeared in her palms. The light then connected to the book and the lock began to turn. Merlin's arms spread out, as if he was about to clap, or if he was flying, and two dark golden balls of light formed in them and he slammed them against the book.

The book opened.

Seven lights flew out of it and surrounded the warlocks, wizards, enchantress and witches. Red light surrounded Harry's form, before gradually sinking into his skin and he noticed that it the other lights were doing the same for his friends, Merlin was still clothed in golden light, Morgana in green and Freya in white. Ginny, Ron and Hermione were cloaked in orange, blue and brown. Harry ran forward when he saw that Merlin had fallen, a pained expression on his face as he grabbed his head.

"_Merlin_!" he heard himself and someone else shout as he knelt by the warlock, and, to his surprise, Arthur appeared, almost literally, out of nowhere, a gold, blue and red light surrounding his form. The king knelt by him and laid a hand fearlessly on the still golden Merlin. The warlock looked up, his eyes widening, and he closed them, shaking his head. Morgana crawled over to them, her eyes wide and remorseful.

"_I'm sorry_," she stuttered, tears building back up into her eyes but they didn't fall. "Oh, _God_, I'm so sorry!" She cried out, then she rested her hand on Merlin's shoulder and her eyes flared gold. Merlin relaxed and she stood, casting a fleeting glance at Arthur and Harry before fleeing.

Harry glanced at Arthur and then leaned over, suddenly feeling very, very tired. "_Arthur_." He whispered, glancing at the king, who had turned to him with eyes wide open, before falling to unconsciousness.

* * *

**Author's Note: **...do you have any idea how long I've been planning this chapter? SINCE CHAPTER SIX OF THE MERLIN'S CIRCLE! *Thud* It was _so _hard to resist the temptation to write this for so long...


	4. Two Steps from Hell

**_Chapter Four: _**_Two Steps from Hell_

Morgana stumbled and fell, crying out as her emotions surged again, emotions that were once so foreign that she hadn't even felt something even remotely like them, until now.

"I'm sorry!" she screamed sorrowfully at the sky, not exactly sure why. It was all that she could do with the crashing emotions falling onto her. She felt tears begin to fall out of her eyes and felt her stomach twist painfully, and she inwardly groaned. Suddenly, her last meal came back up.

Miserably she wiped her mouth and looked up, hearing a low cry from some animal, possibly a bird. She instantly noticed that it was a bird, a white bird, and it was perched on the tree. She shakily held out a hand, and the bird looked at it curiously before flapping over to her. With a start, she realized that it wasn't exactly a bird. "Hello…" she whispered, "how pitiful you must think I am. I've destroyed hundreds- no, thousands of people's lives, and yet here I am feeling sorry for myself. And all of that because I only tried to take the book of Magic, which I have no right to anyways, and it would have never opened for me, I've become too tarnished." She grimaced, feeling her head split open.

_No! Stop that, Morgana! Listen to me, don't trust the dragon! It will try to take you away from me! _

Morgana frowned and stared at the bird. "…and now I've got voices in my head. All of this… it's just to tiring. I don't want to kill, not anymore, I just want this to end. Where did I go wrong, little one? I just wanted to be free!" Tears welled in her eyes again but she didn't bother to wipe them away. "I just want to go back to the way it was before… before I became a sorceress." She felt a beam of sunlight hit her face and she gladly raised her pale face to it, letting it in for the first time in a long while. "I want to go back to being good, it may be harder, but… I don't want to be evil." She slammed her fist against the ground, suddenly filled with rage, although she wasn't sure what it was directed at. "I'm Morgana Pendragon, _dammit_! Not Morgan le Fay, I don't_ want_ to be her! I want to… I can be _anything_ I want to be! I don't want to be controlled by destiny's iron fist anymore!" Her mouth was speaking for her, but she was conflicted about it. One part of her was reaching for what her mouth was saying desperately, trying to claw itself to the sunlight, while the other part was shrinking away and withering in anger, down to that deep dark, shadowy, corner of her heart.

"I am a Pendragon!" She growled in fury. "I _won't _be a servant to the Triple Goddess, or destiny! Or fate! I just want to be _free_!" She felt the tears burn away, and felt a catharsis of emotions rise in her. "I just… I need to be free… to make my own choices…" she whispered hoarsely, all of her strength suddenly gone. She looked sadly at the bird. "Oh, little one, there is no hope for me, is there? Am I destined to have a split personality for the rest of my life? I just… I don't want this anymore. I don't want to lonely! I don't want to be pegged as a murderer for the rest of my life! A witch!"

Morgana began to cry again, great gasping, heaving sobs wrenched from her body, her feelings, her heart, her _soul_. Her very soul cried out in anguish. She didn't want this anymore. The bird smiled and Morgana looked up, confused at the bird's smile (for it was obvious that she was smiling). "Little one… why are you smiling?"

_Because you proved that you're truly remorseful. _A gentle voice murmured in her mind, not the ancient voice that had called out to her earlier, or the angry, dark voice that she had been listening to for the last few years, but female and young and childlike, filled with life and energy. Morgana gaped at the bird.

"You can… talk?"

_No, Morgana of Light, not yet, but soon, very soon. Uncle says that I'm a little behind, but he isn't too concerned, I think. _

Morgana bowed her head and smiled slightly, peacefully. A warm substance filled her, almost like there was someone breathing on her, and then pain. Burning, all-consuming pain, like the fires of hell was searing, burning, through her. She screamed and fell to the ground, unable to hold herself up, and blacked out.

* * *

"Morgana." a soft voice murmured, a familiar voice, she realized. She groaned and forced her eyes open, and stared into the ice-blue eyes of Mordred. She gaped at him for a moment, and sat up, realizing with delight that there were no voices that demanded that she gave in to them. But there was also a blank spot in her memory, from after Morgause had been injured, but her memory was blurry between when Merlin had poisoned her (there must be a reason for that, she realized) and up to that point. She looked around in confusion, realizing that she was dressed in black.

"What…?" She whispered, green eyes flashing into Mordred's more mature, she frowned. "But… you were barely twelve when I last saw you…" Mordred's eyes flashed with unease.

"Morgana… what do you mean? You only saw me a few weeks ago."

Morgana rubbed her arms, realizing with a start that they were so thin. _What's happened to me? _"The last time I saw you was at that druid camp, when I realized I had magic." She said frowning. Mordred's eyes widened and he looked up. Morgana followed his gaze to see a rather pretty black haired woman with wide brown eyes and a mid aged man with brown hair and green eyes, a man that she recognized, _Iseldir_.

"Morgana… that was six years ago." Mordred sounded hesitant, before he continued on, "What was the last thing that you remember?"

Morgana frowned, she really did not know. "I… I remember Morgause being thrown against a wall… and then… chanting." She rubbed her temples, it hurt to remember. "After that… I remember nothing." She winced slightly. "Mordred… where's Gwen? And Arthur?" she paused, before adding, "And Uther? Even Merlin is missing. Wouldn't they be around?"

Mordred swallowed, she watched his Adam's apple. "Morgana… Arthur is King… Uther's dead and Gwen is queen… Merlin…" he laughed slightly. "I don't even know. I've heard so many strange rumors about him lately that I can't figure out what are the truth and what's just… you know, rumor."

Morgana stared at him. "Uther's dead?" She whispered hollowly. "But… he can't be… I only just saw him…" …_In chains, staring at her in betrayal... _She flinched and closed her eyes before she opened them again. "What have I done?" She whispered in horror. "I killed innocent people! And Uther…" Her hand flew to her mouth and she felt tears prickle at her eyes again.

Mordred looked at her. "I… we should get you back to the camp… then we can figure out what happened…" He murmured quietly. She looked at him hopefully and he smiled slightly. "I'm sure we'll figure something out… I hope."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I've been told that the story is a little confusing, don't worry. It's supposed to be... it'll all be revealed... in book four or five... *Innocent* Happy New Year's everyone! :)


	5. The Path of Truth

**_Chapter Five: _**_The Path of Truth_

Morgana glanced at Mordred as the druid stared at her, ice blue eyes unnervingly blank. "You have got to tell me what I've done in the last few… years." She stated softly, but firmly. Mordred started, breaking out of whatever trance he had been in and bit his lip, looking at her in… fear? She swallowed, crossing her fingers and hoping that she hadn't done anything to drastic.

"Before I tell you… can you explain to more about the chanting?" Mordred asked, obviously not wanting to go on the subject of what she had done. She bit her lip thoughtfully, rubbing her cold arms before she opened her mouth to tell the tale.

"It was Morgause… and some other woman that I had never seen before. It was about a month after Merlin had poisoned me, but I knew that there was some reason for it, I saw his face, and it was so guilty… Morgause kept asking me if I wanted revenge against Camelot, Merlin was the undertone, I understood that. So I kept saying that I needed more time, to understand, at first she seemed willing and patient with me, and then… she got colder toward me, less patient and more… urgent. Her tone began to get more threatening by three weeks; I knew that my sister was losing her patience with me. I made plans to escape Morgause's fortress, I no longer felt like a guest of honor, but a prisoner of war. I knew I needed to get out of there, I was so scared. But then Morgause came into my room and requested that I had dinner with her and her guest. I knew that I had to go, her tone… it was predatory. I changed, into a blue dress I believe and followed her.

"I then saw the woman, if she was even a woman; there was something almost… genderless about her. I remember being confused, 'who is she?' I had asked, Morgause had replied, 'an old friend of mine, Morgana, don't worry.' But that only had made me more worried. The woman… she had white hair and… gold eyes, I believe. Like she was casting magic, but they stayed that way, not changing back to whatever color that they were originally, so I assumed that that was her natural color. Then her face… it shifted, into one of a man, except he had black hair and silver eyes, day and night, I remember comparing the two faces. I knew that this… thing was not human. In fact it seemed like it had an aura of power surrounding it, like Merlin, but Merlin's was more subtle, well, not really, it was just… hidden under a clumsy façade. Merlin's was warm and… welcoming, it made me feel safe but hers, his, _it's_… it was… oppressive and cold, it made me feel like I was being threatened, or as if I was inferior to it. Like I was a cockroach.

"You know what happened next, its face changed again. This time it was neither male nor female, it was just… white, with a black outline and this creepy grin. I remember screaming, and its grin didn't waver. 'Come now, Morgana, is that how you greet your creator?' It had said, but its voice… it was echoing, with many voices layered over and under it. 'Creator? I have my father and mother to thank for that, not you.' I had replied, hiding my fear under scorn. 'Arrogant human, and who made your parents and grandparents and your grandparent's parents?' It was angry, that much I knew. The next thing I knew was pain and then darkness… suffocating blackness.

"I woke up, tied to a chair… and… the thing and Morgause were there, talking in whispers before they turned to me. 'You're awake, good.' Morgause said, clearly delighted. I glared and spat at her. 'Why are you doing this?' The thing next to her seemed to smirk, although I couldn't tell with it's still… white appearance. 'Because, you have a very powerful destiny, one that could help overthrow me, with Emrys's help, of course, so I'm going to make sure that you don't stray down that path.' I gaped at it, my jaw slackening. 'You're just after power?' I asked, disgusted and I turned my head away. It seemed to glare at me then turned to Morgause. 'We need to bind her, before her will gets strong enough to resist it.' It said, Morgause nodded and turned to me with a malevolent grin carefully hidden under an assuasive face. I could see it though. 'What are you going to do to me?!' I yelled, struggling against the bounds. Morgause smirked and kneeled so that we were eye to eye, 'We're just bringing out your _true _personality, sister. Do not worry!' I gaped at her as she smirked and nodded at the other, then both of them raised their hands and then they began to chant something… I can't remember what it was, and then… there were voices in my head and… nothing."

Morgana finished her tale, feeling slightly nauseous. Mordred and Iseldir on the other hand, looked rather pale. "So… it _was _black magic," Mordred muttered to himself, rubbing his temples. "But who would be powerful enough to do something like _that_?" Mordred banged his head against the table and Morgana jumped. He smiled sheepishly at her and she returned it shakily.

"I can only think of two people who would have that amount of power, Mordred." Iseldir said, looking at her thoughtfully. She met his eyes. "Emrys would be one of them, as I'm sure you know, Mordred." Mordred nodded but she was confused, who was Emrys? "The other… well, it just… it can't be possible. She can't be summoned by a mere mortal like Morgause. Emrys, maybe, even Morgana or the Lady of the Lake, but not by Morgause. Besides, even if she was summoned then she would be very volatile, and Morgause would have been killed, razed by her hand."

Mordred shook his head, leaning back. "Maybe, but Morgana described her by having three different faces, so it must be her. Who else would have three faces?"

"Wait, so it _is _a she!" Morgana said happily and Mordred nodded. She paused then added, "Who is she? And who is Emrys?"

Mordred exhaled heavily. "He made me promise not to tell you, but he is our savior. He is destined to bring back magic and help the Once and Future King unite Albion. Or at least, he _was _destined to do that. Now… the stars are unclear about destiny. It's been turned on its heel, and it started when Harry Potter was sent here with his friends." Iseldir nodded and Morgana gaped at them, her mouth opening a little. Iseldir smiled wryly.

"The future is utterly uncertain, Morgana. I've never seen such turmoil in the stars, or heard of it either. Just remember that while in your past you may have done bad things, it does not mean you are inherently a bad person." Morgana stared at him as he left the camp with those cryptic words of wisdom, and then turned to Mordred.

"Is he always like that?"

Mordred laughed, "Try speaking to a dragon and you'll understand the meaning of 'riddle'."

Morgana rubbed her head, repressing the building headache. "Well, that doesn't matter. Mordred, what have I been doing these last few years? I've got a bad feeling that it's nothing good." She sighed softly and Mordred rubbed the back of his head.

"Are you sure that you want to know?" Mordred asked softly. "It isn't anything good…" Morgana nodded her resolve only hardening. He sighed, obviously seeing her expression. "Well… I suppose I should start with when you released the dorcha…" Mordred began.

~…~

Hours later, Morgana gazed blankly at the stream, her mind in utter turmoil. She gazed at the stream then knelt by it, slowly dipping her arms in it. She paused, staring at the water in utter fascination as it parted around her arms. _To me, when it should suck me in and make me drown in its current… _She paused and began to splash her face and her reflection rippled. She paused and stared at it thoughtfully. _Do I really have to keep this face? This twisted face…? _For a moment she thought she saw her old reflection.

_Maybe… I can change… but can such a foolish, twisted, evil little human being like me go back to being good? To the way I was… before Morgause? _The water stopped rippling and she stared at her hallow face. _Maybe not… but I can surely try my hardest to not be controlled by destiny. _Her eyes hardened and she dipped her hands in the water, watching the dirt wash off of them and float down the river. She smiled slightly and placed her arms in up to her elbows, relishing in the cool touch of the water. _Wash the dirt away, wash the past away. _She thought, the water was died black and she shivered slightly before she completely immerged from her elbows to her shoulders, her hair waving in the stream and her chest getting wet. The icy cold water shocked her, but she ignored it and placed her legs in the water before wading out and watched as the dirt seemed to bleed into the water. She paused then ducked, closing her eyes and mouth and feeling the shock of freezing cold water on her face.

She stayed under water for as long as she could before she resurfaced, and stared at Mordred who was watching her with a curious expression. "Are you trying to drown yourself?" The druid called out. She rolled her eyes, feeling refreshed and… alive. She felt much better than she did before, at least.

"No, I'm trying to cleanse myself!" She shouted back and waded up to the shore, soaking wet with water dripping out of her hair, her dress (which barely covered her, if Mordred's blush was anything to go by), her arms and legs. She smiled at him and wrung her hair out.

"Uh… okay?" He sounded confused and she chuckled, then paused and stared at her hair. She stopped wringing it out and looked at him beadily.

"Give me your knife." She commanded, holding her hand out.

"What? Why?" Mordred asked but he was already reaching for it and he handed it to her grip first. She smiled and pulled down on her hair, positioning her knife to shear it off at her shoulders. She paused then gritted her teeth and moved her hand, she felt her hair tear and it fell to the ground. Mordred gaped at her. "Wait, why are you cutting off your hair?"

She smiled slightly at him. "I want a fresh start. To be my own person, not the Lady Morgana, ward of King Uther or Morgana de Bois, daughter of Lord Gorlois or the Witch Morgana. I just want to change, to be able to be who I really am, without destiny on my shoulders. And the best way to do that…" she gritted her teeth and seared off more of her hair. "…is to cut my hair. I've always had long hair. Besides, most of this is dead now." Mordred nodded, sitting down cross legged on the ground and she sat next to him on her knees.

"Is there anything that you need?" He asked curiously and she nodded.

"Are there any shirts and trousers that might fit me?" She asked grabbing her left lock of hair. Mordred nodded thoughtfully.

"Thalia would have something, I'm sure of it." Mordred replied confidently, and then he paused in confusion. "If you're not going to be Morgana de Bois or the Lady Morgana or even the Witch Morgana, then who will you be? It's not like you can choose a new identity."

She smirked slightly. "I know, and that's where you're going to help me…" she looked down, biting her lip and her eyes were full of shadows of fear, self-loathing, and guilt but at the same time there was hope, innocence, truth and light in them as well. "Mordred… if I stray down that path again…"

"You won't!" Mordred interjected almost angrily and she chuckled slightly.

"I appreciate your faith, but it's highly likely and I will do my best to stay away from it. Mordred, if I stray from this path, this right path, I want you to kill me, please. I don't want to hurt any more innocents."

Mordred gaped at her, hardly believing his ears. "No! No, I can't do this Morgana. You're like a sister to me, and..." he shook his head wildly, desperately but she looked at him, her eyes soft but strong.

"Mordred," she said softly. "I know it will be hard, if it comes to that, but you're the only person I trust." She took his face in her palms and he met her firm, yet kind, eyes reluctantly with his ice blue. "I literally am trusting you with my life, my back, and you would be the only one strong enough to carry it out. Arthur, he is too kind, to compassionate, Gwen is the same way. Merlin… he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did it." She gazed at him imploringly, "You are like a little brother to me, Mordred, a son maybe and I wouldn't burden you with this unless there was _absolutely no other choice. _Do you understand, Mordred?"

Mordred closed his eyes and nodded slightly. "You better not make me do it then, Morgana." He whispered softly and she smiled.

"Thank you."

Mordred paused then asked, "What is your new name though, Morgana? You never answered that."

Morgana paused for a moment thoughtfully, and then she brightened. "You choose, Mordred. I do not want to curse this name as well.

He tilted his head and thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Well then, how about Morgana le Fae?"

Morgana paused for a moment. "Morgana le Fae… Morgana of the fairies, it is a fitting name for me, I suppose. Thank you, Mordred." Mordred smiled and both of them stood.

"We better get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold."

~…~

Unnoticed by either of them, there was a man in a cloak staring down at them, frowning angrily. _You will pay for this… Magic. _

Another form appeared a pale but identical copy of Merlin, and he turned to look at the man with a thoughtful expression on his face. "_You know that this could have happened, lady. Besides, it wasn't me; I could have never influenced the minds of humans." _

The man glared at the stream and it began to run faster, becoming more dangerous. _Do not speak as if humans were more powerful than us. It is unbecoming. _

Not-Merlin rolled his eyes. _"You keep scorning humanity and yet they are more powerful than us. They can change, hasn't Morgana just proven that?" _

The man crossed his arms and pouted like a child. _I admit that while she may have slipped from my grasp, I've still got the other as my pawn. _

Not-Merlin sighed wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose. _"Admit it, fate and destiny are just no longer."_

The man frowned. _I've still got Emrys to play with, I can make _him _go back to the original destiny of the Once and Future King. _

Not-Merlin shook his head, an angry expression coming onto his face. _"Do not even try. It would throw the balance of the world out of control… again. Admit it; Arthur is no longer destined to die. Just like Vivienne wasn't destined to rise from the lake or Morgana being good. Honestly, I think it is better this way." _

The man glared at him in fury. _Whose side are you on, Magic? _

Magic raised Merlin's eyebrow. _I thought you knew, I am on _nobody's _side, least of all yours. _And he turned around and stalked away, disappearing into the window.

The man let out a yell of anger and the Earth trembled. _MAGIC!_

* * *

**Author's Note:** …and there goes my original plot. Anyways, I'm nearing the end people, 5 more chapters. Don't worry about you all though, you've got a total of 22. :) Then the real fun begins... MERLIN GOES TO HOGWARTS! :D :D :D :D :D :D


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